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samedi 5 octobre 2013

North and South

I just can't seem to keep this blog going, can I?

Maybe it's part of being bipolar, being disorganised, being crap at leading a normal life. Things haven't really changed a great deal, except that I'm predictably rubbish at taking my meds (either on time or at all, meaning I'm putting together a nice little stock just in case).

I'm apparently about to be summoned to appear before a judge, along with my ex and my "mandataire" (the guy who's in charge of me (I would say in charge of my financial and administrative affairs, but it feels more like he's in charge of my life as a whole). I'm not sure why my ex would be invited, and I don't like it. I don't think he'll say anything bad about me, but I do hate that he's still considered to be part of my life in all its daily workings, when really he isn't.

So my life is still a mess and I'm having a lot of trouble getting anything done. Except work, which I am managing to do, amazingly enough. I guess that's a good sign. What's less of a good sign is the fact that I lock myself away, day after day, barely leaving the house, barely talking to another human being from one day to the next, with the exception of Y, the new man in my life.

Oh, did I not mention him before? We met almost exactly a year ago in our favourite mental asylum and have been together more or less ever since. He's still there, though in the part that the least hospital-y and more young person's hostel. He's also considerably younger than I am, but who cares? The most important thing is that he's good for me, that I like being with him, that he keeps me going, keeps me stable. We're both skint, so we never do much, but we can live with that.

The flat remains a total mess, except for maybe 50% of the sitting room and 75% of the bathroom, which I guess is progress of sorts, but not the sort that anyone would notice because the rest is still such a tip.

What I have decided is to give NaNoWriMo another go, to see if I can manage to do it again. It's a hell of a lot of work, and requires great discipline (something I lack almost chronically) but I did it in 2009, I'm sure I can do it again (especially as I appear to have lost the one I did 4 years ago).

One last thing - I'm sure you're wondering about the title of this post, which doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything, surely that's wonderfully appropriate no? This post is about nothing at all, and the extreme north and the extreme south are the two poles of the planet - get it? I know, crap. But you really shouldn't expect anything better of me. Not in my state.

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